Exactly What I Needed

Looking back on this month and a half, I can’t say it was a breeze but nor can I say it was an overwhelming challenge that was impossible. It was exactly what I needed, for so many reasons.

I needed this journey for the obvious fact that my quality of life was not where it could be. I maneuvered through these past months with a huge health burden. I was weighed down physically and mentally.

But I also needed this journey to be fully connected with Christ like I never have before. When it comes to my health, I have little faith in God.  Instead of trusting, I would worry. I would worry about my future and I would try to hold my life’s plan so close to me. But what I found out is that worrying does nothing…NOTHING (What a concept ehh?!?!). With much prayer and time with Christ, I began to let go.

Coming to the point of letting go completely is so freeing. Because I realized that my worrying wasn’t going to make the surgeons hand more steady, it wasn’t going to make the anesthesiologist give me the right amount of medicine, it wasn’t going to make the x-ray technician capture the best image and it wasn’t going to help my body heal faster or better.

So when I faced my health again and  walked into the operating room and laid down on the table, bright lights above me, I was confident in God’s plan for my health for the first time. I didn’t have to convince myself that everything was going to be okay. I had faith that whatever was going to unfold was a part of his big plan, no matter how great or how grave the results would be.

With my restored health, I owe all glory to Christ for providing me with a tremendous cardiology team, a family that goes to the moon and back for me, friends that know exactly how to be there for me and for all the prayers.

I write to you today with a new lease on life. I write to you with confidence in my future but not wanting to suffocate God’s plan for me. I write to you today because I hope that in your journey, you realize that your battle is never too great for you. Be encouraged that overcoming battles  allows us to persevere and in turn, strengthen our character (Romans 5:3-5).


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